Happy New Year 2016

By Gideon Mutai

Happy new year 2016
A year of many happy returns
It came subtly as a serpent
And seemingly gentle as a dove
It’s indeed a new year

A year of new thoughts
New dreams and aspirations
New chances
New changes
New resolutions
New challenges
And new life
But the same God of the mountain
Who was, Is and will be
The God who changest not
image

Let it be a new year
Of improved performance
Of surpassed expectations
Of fulfilled dreams
Of exceptional happiness and joy
Of true love
And a year of holistic development

I wish you, yes, you-
And your family, friends and relatives
A happy new year of choice

Call me Crazy

By Gideon Mutai

You will call me crazy
Or even think I am lazy
But don’t forget my name is daisy
Thank God my vision is not hazy
To note your handsomeness
Indeed you are awesome
But just call me crazy daisy.

Your smile sends waves of ecstasy
Yes all the way down my spine
Talk of a surge of happy hormones
So in your pursuit I’ll not resign
And my request don’t decline
But your ear to me incline
In you my worries I’ll confine
And we will our hopes and goals combine
Even as our targets align
When the marriage certificate we’ll sign

How good is to love and to be loved?
And more so when that love is true
And every morning it is new
The common colour being blue
I think without much ado,
I’ll clear my throat and utter “Yes, I do”
I know this sounds weird
But just call me crazy daisy

The impossible with Him it is
He has done great to the family of Liz
We are not an exception
Remember this is not a misconception
Or perhaps a bad perception
Begin thinking of where we’ll have reception
As you stop calling me crazy daisy
And call me sweetheart and darling and dear and…

I want to Die (Part 2)

I want to Die (Part 2)

By Gideon Mutai

There are many people out there who wanna die BUT…they don’t want to kill themselves. I am not an exception. Google the phrase “I want to die” and you will have thousands of results.

From reddit.com, discussion on depression, one wrote thus

“…I just want to die a death that I did not directly cause. Something like a car crash or an unfortunate construction accident, a freak flu that causes people to drop dead. I repeat just to emphasize, I don’t want to kill myself, I just want to die.”

I want to dieSo many of us have suicidal thoughts at one point in life. It is normal because you are human. The men in the Bible who were close to God also had suicidal tendencies, look at Elijah.

1 Kings 19: 4 “…It is enough now, O Lord, take away my life…” Hey, I am not preaching, I was just showing you how common suicidal tendencies. Death is no respecter of persons. If you live in the upper crust or wallow in abject penury, you are not exempted.

What are the triggers therefore?

We all love living a blissful life, an ideal environment with ideal kind of people relating well with them. We want to have what we desire promptly. Sometimes our working conditions are not favourable. When we fail in exams we feel bad or terrible. When we lose our beloved ones or we lose our jobs. When everyone is talking negatively about us or when we did something we regret doing or will make the “public” change our perceptions towards us.

The bottom line is, we want to feel good. Anything that disrupts that balance however little it is will be taking us slowly to the other extreme.

Many have tried defining what life is, whatever your understanding thereof, you can affix meaning to it or detach, it will still remain LIFE.

Please share in the comments section your experience or what you did to combat the suicidal thoughts. You never know, it might change a life, you might save a soul.

Back to the leading sentence, I want to die but I don’t want to kill myself. Felicia (pseudonym) is a victim of suicidal tendencies. Her parents rejected her after conceiving before marriage. Her education was cut short. The boyfriend didn’t want to hear anything of her. Her friends became judgmental and started talking behind her back and acting weirdly towards her. She began job hunting. After several months, she lost hope. Her efforts were all futile. As if that is not enough, her sweet baby girl felt sick and was admitted for three weeks and treated for malnutrition but she was not able to pay the hospital bill. To avoid mention the nitty-gritty of the story, she wanted to end her life. She took poison (Rat-and-rat) but she didn’t succumb to it. Maybe she under dosed, I cannot tell. The story is indeed long…

I want to die 2When you want to die, please consider

  1. What is the source of your inspiration in life?

Find something that interests you most and indulge therein. If you find consolation in nature then embrace nature walking, hikes, bird watching, sun bathing etc.

If perhaps you love music, find a book and sing along or alone to the favourite music. Attend a concert, listen to birds singing, watch them dance.

Grasp that inspirational book and read, read to the end.

  1. Think of Someone you Love and that person who loves you

Nobody cares is a misplaced statement. At least there is one person who cares. Jesus does but that is another theology for another day. Your lover, your spouse, your best friend, your mum or dad or acquaintance can be that person who cares.

Your death will affect them adversely. They may be drawing their inspiration from you. They might be the reason why they want to live to see another bright day. You are their only hope in life.

  1. Remember you are not alone

Several people have attempted suicide before. Some are contemplating now as you read this line. Death is not the end in itself but the beginning of the end. Share out your thoughts with someone you can confide in. Talk openly about your feelings. Cry if need be. Do anything that can release the boiling stress steam inside.

Note:

Don’t do anything foolish. Binge drinking will not abate the stress, it only makes you forget about it transiently. After the stupor is weaned off, it comes back with double interest. It is a vicious cycle. Don’t engage in promiscuity thinking it is a way out. Some resort to smoking or masturbation or gambling or even robbery. None of this will help.

  1. Give it Time. Wait!

When you think you should end it now, buy a little time. Wait till you come back to your senses. One part of you wants to die but at the same time some part somehow wants to live. Sometimes some want to attract the attention of other people and therefore they attempt suicide hoping they will not die only to wake up and realize they are dead.

Do something that will distract you from such thoughts.

  1. Face the awful situation

Suicide is an elusive way of doing things. When someone inflicts pain on us, we withdraw away from it. Suicide is a way of moving away from the real thing. If it is failed relationships, please try again. If it is lost opportunity, then that was not the last one. Every day is not the same. Yesterday was and will not be the same as today, neither will tomorrow be similar to today. Each day is a present and unique in its own way. It is only that your thoughts are similar, today and tomorrow that makes all days appear equal.

Face that man or that boss that is giving you stress. Face that task courageously. Circumvent around the problem.

 

I’ll write part 3 soon. Please remember to give your response in the comments section, your story or encouragements or thoughts.

Life on the Edge

By Gideon Mutai

Sound of the approaching wagon roused her
With her young daughter she went on her toes
And as fast as they could joined #team scramble
The husband was on the other end too
Working on increasing the odds for the day

First was the mouldy yeasty fermenting bread
Next was the half eaten carrot wrinkled and rotten
I am certain he doesn’t have congenital anosmia
But to the smell he has adapted
Food comes first, smell or aroma comes second
He ate the pieces ravenously before digging deeper

Mining in the huge heap of dump is their daily duty
They don’t have an excavator but hands do better job
The rate limiting factor is the stiff competition
From the increasing number of enrolling students
Oh no! It’s not even their choice
They found themselves in that school
They don’t know who mum or dad is
Let’s just say for now they were accident victims

Living from hand to mouth is the order of the year
Living one day at a time is their philosophy
Come rain, come sunshine, they still afford a smile
If they get it or they don’t they’ll still live another day
Where they sleep I cannot tell
I guess they only need where to put their heads
You are talking of shoes? That is luxury
Some even don’t have legs so what’s the need?
Latest phone you mentioned? That’s a different world
They can live without them

I don’t know if they get sick
And if they do, very few of them are taken to the hospital
The doctor in the biodata will write, “Street family”
And social worker will work to waive their bill
Keeping them in hospital is even advantageous
They will never pay after all
And they will be assured of better meals and sleep
They don’t mind going back to the streets after discharge
Where else would you want them to go?

I live like a king, not on the edge, not from hand to mouth
But I will still complain, cry, whine, wail, mourn
Because I was not bought for the latest dress in fashion
I also don’t have the latest classic phone
I crave for that latest sports car, Vitz is a mockery
I am sleeping on a small 4 by 6 bed with just a duvet
With a small 21 inch TV; I desire a larger screen
So as to watch the latest movies from Hollywood
Following all series and premier leagues

In prison, someone remorseful is suffering
Longing for the day they will be free
But I use my time discussing how people are wicked
And how they should be locked up forever
Little do I remember I was also a prisoner of sin
I don’t even feel the freedom that I have
In any case I am still a prisoner
Technology has made me a slave
Diligently and always apportioning my time to it
Thinking that it has made life for me easier

Nature is weeping because of my actions
She has warned severally of what she is capable of
Soon her patience will run out and she’ll turn against me
Global warming, landslides, bad air and what have you
Is her anger towards man
But the haves and the have-nots will not be affected
After all they have been exposed to all extreme conditions
They have developed resilience
All because they are living on the edge

Medical Drama Script

By Gideon Mutai
(Assumes the format of a medical history)

Biodata
Name: Stephen Ayoti Olesipulpul
Age: 25 Years Old
Residence: Mwisho wa Lami
Sex: Male

Presenting Complains

-Small for age copulatory organ
-Sweating in exams
-Bed wetting
-Fracture bone
-Swollen cheeks

History of Presenting Illness (HPI)
Olesipulpul was well until one month ago when he noticed unusual profuse sweating triggered by exam papers. It only happens when the papers have been issued. It is drenching in nature and associated with awareness of heartbeats, headache and incessant tremors. The positive side is improved acuity but strains the ocular muscles impairing lateral vision. This comes with neck pain probably due to straining. He has been asking for extra exam papers due to sweats destroying the papers. It is relieved by ending the exams only to begin again during the following session.
The headache is frontal in nature and doesn’t radiate. Pain killers is a waste of resources, it doesn’t help. Removing the trigger does.
He also complained of small for age copulatory organ which is the size of a grain. Pooling of blood doesn’t increase its size beyond one inch. He reports no family history of small transformers. In any case they are unusually gigantic for the first degree relatives. He has never had any penile fracture or history of sexually transmitted infections or exposure to radiations.
This made him have the next complain of puffy face. He reports to have attended his girlfriend’s birthday party two days ago. Sheila wanted to play the mama role with him. To her surprise, the transformer was insensitive to various stimulations. It was just weeping but not standing up to the task before it. She gave him an irresistibly hard slap across his cheeks seeing it swell almost immediately. He has done soothing for it but there is no change except for the hyperemia. He reports decreased appetite following the incidence. However, he denies diarrhea or slap induced constipation. He saw many stars thereafter. He couldn’t quantify but the pain in a scale of one to ten, he rated at eight. The thoughts of the incidence worsened the pain.
This led to the following complain. He fell over a bridge when he was going back home and fractured the right lower leg. He reports no loss of consciousness after the fall. There was a sharp localized pain on the cuff muscles. It was aggravated by walking and no relieving factors.
Last but not least, he complained of continuous bedwetting. I couldn’t tell if he meant bedwetting or wet dreams but all the same, wet is the common denominator. He has been having it since he joined high school seven years ago. Abstaining from any fluid intake during evenings doesn’t help, neither does taking much fluids. This has made him have long nights and short days.
He denied weight loss, night sweats nor fever.

Past Medical and Surgical Hx
-This is the eighth admission. The first admission was due to cholera. He can’t remember the second admission. The third, fourth and fifth admissions were similar to the second. The sixth admission was due to Post Exam Disorientation Stress Disorder. The last admission was due to threatened discontinuation.
-He has history of Kenya cane transfusions but none for blood
-He is known allergic to exams and invigilators but not to drugs
-No surgical interventions done.

Personal/Family/Social/Economic Hx
-11th born in a family of 14, student at Egerton University.
-No family hx of chronic illness except for the atopy for exams. His parents had the same problem. He reports of bedwetting (Brother of the cousin to the uncle of the grandfather to his dad’s brother in law)
-He occasionally drinks uji and milk but doesn’t smoke.
-He bets with sportpesa for a living.
-He doesn’t subscribe to NHIF.

Summary
Olesipulpul 25 yr old male from Mwisho wa Lami presented with a long history of Small for age copulatory organ, Sweating in exams, Bed wetting, Fracture bone, Swollen cheeks.

Examination
I found a young man in fair general condition but seemingly utterly confused even though he was oriented in time place and person. He was not in any obvious distress.
General Parameters were within normal limits except for pallor of 2 ++
Vital Signs:

Genitourinary Exam
Pea sized penis, Cremasteric reflex not appreciated

Face Exam
Swollen cheeks, warm to touch

Impression:
Constitutional penile growth delay in a 25 yr old male with fractured right lower limb and nocturnal enuresis with Post exam disorientation stress disorder to rule out dysfunctional relationship.

Plan:
Investigations:
-Right Lower limb X-Ray
-Penile Stimulatory tests
-Mobile phone Whatsapp texts and SMS

Management
(a) Supportive Treatment
-Bible Study
-Idiotitis vaccine
(b) Definitive Treatment
-Penile traction
-Plaster of Paris
-Macintosh Impenetrable mattress with intermittent wake up alarms
-Transfer to Mjengo exam free area

I Resign… Not

By Gideon Mutai

I resign…not
My input has been thwarted
Because it was not reported
The competition was real hot
And I thought all I got was a blot

I resign…not
‘Cause I wasn’t born with a silver spoon-
In my mouth
I am turning round to South
I have bidden bye the silver screen
After all am no longer a teen

I resign…not
I’ll always press on towards my goal
In the school of excellence I’ll enrol
I might have to crawl all the way
Towards where I see the ray

I resign…not
The past I’ll not dwell in
The present leaven I’ll bin
In a bid to get to my destination
For a jump start, I need activation