Anti-Exam Fever Vaccine

By Gideon Mutai

All preparations were in place that day
Except for parasitic fear which wasn’t at bay
She sluggishly trudged to the exam room
As they prayed and wished her the best of luck
Hesitantly, she waved back and went in

 

Papers were issued out to everyone
You can bet the colour had not changed from the usual
“You have two hours to attempt all the questions.”
Roared the no-nonsense exam invigilator
The parasite forgot the symbiotic relationship with her
He breached the contract and started devouring her

 

As the invigilator paced up and down the room.
FEAR relished on that little activity
Small beads of sweat started forming on her brow
Her eyes were swelling progressively
She suddenly busted into tears as she turned over the first page
The bladder seemingly enjoyed the ordeal
How it suddenly got filled up I cannot tell
It also gave way following his accomplice

 

Who would have known she was expectant
If not for the end of year exams?
We saw a little bouncing baby lying on the floor
And dangling from her pelvic region a cord
Exams had to be interrupted
‘Twas not in vain anyway
As my colleagues found it opportune to consult
While few assisted in carrying her way

 

The reports later came
That the doctor diagnosed her with exam fever
That precipitated all the events
And she was given anti-exam fever vaccine IV BD X 4/12
The baby was just a result of injurious exam fever
Which has since time immemorial been pandemic
I was left wondering if he was a real doctor or just another quack

 

Either way, I also want anti-exam fever too but dread the pain
Yes, the pain of daily injections for four months every year
Can’t it be made to be easily swallow able?
Or coated with chocolate?

 

What did you say are the side effects of the vaccine?
Bosom friendship with books in and out season
But how about my allergy for books?
It runs in our family
The mother of my grandfather to the uncle of my niece had the same problem.
He used not to pass well in school
It has manifested in me again
But just give me the vaccine, I will deal with the consequences later.

 
*IV–Intravenously
*BD–Twice a day

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THEORY OF A RUBBER BAND

(Adapted from Chapter 7 of The Optimist’s Creed by Gideon Mutai)

In the beginning, the Rubber Band Maker spoke to the Rubber Band saying,
“There are five things you need to know before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and you will become the best Rubber Band you can be.”

1. You have the capability of changing your size, only if you want to.

2. You are never useful till you are stretched.

3. You need to endure the pain of stretching as sometimes, some ruthless persons can threaten to stretch you beyond your elastic limit.

4. You are most useful if stretched to the point of elastic limit.

5. You’ll be held firmly at one point so that you can stretch.

The Rubber Band understood, promising to remember, and went into the
box fully understanding its Maker’s purpose.

Now replacing the place of the Rubber Band with you; always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.

1. Change is Permanent; Be flexible.

2. STRETCH BIG, THINK BIG, DREAM BIG.

3. Persevere the Pain of Stretching. There are no gains without pain

4. Temperance/Moderation.

5. Be determined even in the face of obstacles.

Everyone is like a Rubber Band…created by the Maker for a unique and special purpose.

By understanding and remembering, let us proceed with our life on this earth having a meaningful purpose in our heart and a  relationship with our Creator daily.

You were made to do Great Things!